into you5.21.2005
rebel scum
No. Stop it. Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith is not a good movie. On the contrary, it is a pretty remarkably bad movie, without one redeeming quality. Well, ok, it does have one good scene: Darth Vader breathing for the first time. But that's it; the two hours leading up and the half hour following are all tiresome, mockable, and generally odious. And that's worth it just to hear Vader's lung computer? Please, you can recreate that with a toy.Of course, as with the other prequels, there will be a brief stint of critics and fans defending it. "Sure, the dialogue sucked, but the fights were cool." "Yeah, Hayden Christensen can't act, but it was nice to see Vader again." "It was much better than the first two." Hey: The Single Guy was better than Wings, but what does that really tell you? Why the hell do we have to make compromises for the creative failures of this monster, George Lucas? Why can't we face the fact that in the last 25 years, the director has gone from being another Spielberg to being another De Palma?
In my distaste for this new installment, I went back last night and watched Empire; then today I watched Episode IV. Do you realize how fucking brilliant those movies are? And I was watching the Special Editions, which aren't even as good as the originals! These last three episodes, man...they're like not even real movies compared to the first ones. Watch Yoda in Empire and then think about how he's presented in Sith. It's a damn joke.
And even though it is, yes, technically a better movie than Phantom Menace and Clone Attack, Sith is really the most infuriating, because it was the one that gave Lucas the chance to bring everything together, to connect his old and new visions. But he blew it. I'm not even that huge a Star Wars fan, relatively, and I've been coming up with new holes in the plot every five to minutes since I saw it.
Oh, and it's dark? Because Anakin kills some kids (oh, I'm sorry, I mean "younglings")? Please. Dark would have been facing up to the fact that Skywalker went to the other side because he was consumed by hatred and greed, not because he wanted to save his wife from dying in labor.
It shouldn't make me so mad, especially considering I wasn't expecting too much in the first place, but it really does. So I'm trying to channel that anger into devising how I would have done the prequels (it's a much better pursuit than looking for gainful employment.) I'll be presenting what I come up with as a series of plays over the next seven years. Keep an eye out.
